healing union - restoring male/female balance
'The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant.
We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten
the gift.'
- Albert Einstein
Most of us are familiar with this symbol. We see variations of it used widely to denote healing and wholeness. Have you ever considered its significance to you? Whether or not you are aware of it, this symbol is relevant to your life every day.
The yin and yang or feminine and masculine dynamic is one of the fundamental poles we seek to balance in Polarity Therapy. The main characteristics of each are:
| Yin (Feminine) | Yang (Masculine) |
| Right-brain, left side of body | Left-brain, right side of body |
| Receptive | Insertive |
| Intuitive | Logical |
| Emotional | Reasoned |
| Reflective - inward focus | Active - outward focus |
We each contain both aspects, and balancing them within ourselves is essential to our experience of wholeness.
As we bring these two sides into balance within ourselves, it follows that our relationships outwardly will improve - As within, so without. Its important to keep in mind that each aspect is within each of us, whether we are male or female. Sometimes men and women fear they will lose their masculinity or femininity if they wander too far to the other side. Actually, the opposite is true.
It is only by embracing each aspect in ourselves that we become a fully rounded person, and even more in touch with our own sexual nature. In other words, a woman with a healthy feminine and masculine aspect will be even more feminine. And a man with a healthy feminine, as well as masculine aspect, will be even more masculine. Further, the polarities of each one will be such that strongly feminine women will be attracted to strongly masculine men and vice versa.
Striving for Balance ~ Sun and Moon
The sun and moon provide us with a perfect example of the interplay of male & female energies. The sun represents masculine, yang, directive energy. The moon represents the female aspect, subtle and reflective. It is interesting to note that though the sun is 400 times larger than the moon, and 400 times as far away, from our exact location in the solar system, they appear to be the same size. A daily reminder to us on this planet that the feminine and masculine aspects are of equal importance.The sun directs light and heat to earth. The moon reflects the light of the sun, visible best in the dark night sky. Balance is possible only with day and night, masculine and feminine. Most us seem to understand the need for light better than the need for dark. Night-time restores, nurtures and heals body and soul in sleep. The mysterious deep feminine aspect is a profound, yet subtle force in our lives. We can consciously connect to the feminine inner world - to subtlety of feeling, intuition, and spirit, in a hidden place inside. Time spent here fuels us. We connect to this aspect by getting still, meditation, tuning into feelings, listening to and expressing our truth, allowing the creative force of nature to move through us and perform some creative act - sing, dance, paint, etc. We are essentially tapping into the non-logical, the wild and unstructured parts of ourselves. It inspires us with new ideas, potential for growth, and a desire to live in a deeply connected way. We would never be able to express this deep urge without time spent attending to the inner world.
We are supposed to emerge from this state, armed with the power of deep feminine knowing. If we were to spend all our time in a very yin existence, we wouldn't achieve very much. Unless you chose a monastic lifestyle, most of us have some degree of fiery desire to achieve ambitions, big or small. We then tap into the masculine, yang, active energy to manifest something in the world. Using our gifts of reason, logic and drive to carve out purposely whatever it is we are hoping to achieve. Therefore, listening to the deep self and expressing its message in the outer world makes us balanced co-creators of our lives.
Restoring Harmony
Most of what we see manifested around us today was created without consulting the feminine nature. Action fueled by outer rather than inner promptings can be empty and meaningless at best, and destructive at worst. Specifically, the reflective yin aspect seems to have very little space in a lot of people's lives. It can be as simple as 'How am I feeling?', or, 'How do I feel about this situation/job/decision?'. Without this reflection on inner feelings, we can lose our centre and give power away to others, doing what they would like us to do instead of what feels right. So how do we achieve the right balance? Its useful to understand the needs of each aspect.
| Yin needs... | Yang needs... |
| To receive and nurture. | To act or manifest something outwardly in the world. |
| To express and, therefore, live in their truth. | Action to be well-received. |
| To be heard. | Nurturance and support for ideas. |
These are cyclical patterns, we get to the bottom of the list and it starts over again. For feminine energy, to nurture the right kind of masculine energy encourages expression. For masculine, to be received well encourages further action. Each side helps to complete the cycle of the other, each one feeding into the other eternally. This presents us with certain challenges to relate to each aspect skilfully (within, or outwardly in relationship).
Challenges on the Path
The feminine aspect reflects the masculine (remember the moon reflects the light of the sun). A primary challenge for this aspect is to reflect kindly what they see. Inner exploration, therefore, should not be self-critical. We must reflect on ourselves with compassion in order to grow. Outwardly, a female challenge is to be mindful of giving truthful feedback in a loving way to their partner. In relationship, men need to be well-received by their partners. Acknowledging and nurturing the good in their own and their partner's actions is a female responsibility. Offering support and encouragement for further action and manifestation is a positive expression of the feminine nature. Recognising the strength and power of the masculine aspect within themselves is also a challenge for some women.
The masculine aspect is challenged to listen to and honour the feminine nature. In ourselves, this means listening to our feelings, intuitions and developing a spiritual connection. It also means to accept the reflection we receive from the feminine nature, and take responsibility for the consequences of our actions. In relationship, for men it means listening to the feelings of their female partner. Every woman needs to hear the 4 magic words - 'What are you feeling?'. Men tend to run from this as they are more results-focused, and fear they don't have an answer. Women are not so much looking for answer (most of the time, there is no easy answer), as simply needing
to be heard. I would add, though, that the very act of voicing something enables the energy to shift, so a 'solution' is more likely to come through expression rather than repression. Acting on the truth they've heard then presents a further challenge to the masculine aspect.
The dynamics of yin and yang are played out endlessly in our lives - inwardly, in relationship with others, and in the workplace. The workplace is one area where the feminine aspect has been largely ignored with soul-destroying results. Restoring balance begins with each individual.
Are you making time to get still and listen to your deep self? Feel rather than think? - Yin aspect.
Do you have the courage to honour your truth, even if this means making difficult choices about parts of your life that you know you must change? - Yang aspect.
If you do, you are beginning to align your deep self with outer self, feminine with masculine, yin and yang natures.
